* Senator John McCain today said that he respected Barak Obama and that if anyone wanted to kill Senator Obama just because he is a Muslim, who pals around with terrorists and that if Obama is elected he will blow up the White House, give Florida to Castro, set Ohio on fire, and raise your taxes that McCain was against it, but could understand how people would consider it.
* On Wednesday, Secretary Henry Paulson told Congress that if he did not receive $700 billion by Friday that the entire US economy would fall apart and that we would be in an unavoidable and cataclysmic depression by the following Tuesday. On Friday, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said that she could get Secretary Paulson $850 billion by the following Wednesday, but that he had to spend $25 billion on tennis balls made of cotton fibers an only manufactured in Oregon and $75 billion on milk that was past its expiration date. Secretary Paulson said that was acceptable as long as the check cleared by Thursday because he had an appointment to buy a Van Gogh on Friday morning.
* The Alaskan legislature issued a report that Sarah Palin abused power, but did not do anything illegal. The McCain campaign issued a statement that this vindicated Palin because that was exactly the same thing that Dick Cheney, Alberto Gonzales, and Karl Rove did, so it showed that Palin was qualified to serve in the highest levels of government.
* President Bush and members of 20 major countries met yesterday to discuss the global financial crisis. The leaders in a press conference issued a statement that the crisis demanded specific, concrete steps, not a list of principles otherwise the world would devolve into a catastrophic worldwide depression. The leaders then said that no concrete steps would be taken by any government because no one knew what to do.
* The Obama campaign denied any ties to the political group ACORN, which has been registering voters. ACORN came under scrutiny when a Franklin County Ohio election office noticed that they received 2300 voter registration applications from Seymour Butts of 22 Twain Street. The Obama campaign denied that the fact that it was somehow connected to ACORN. "Just because we gave $800,000 to ACRON to register voters and they then used that money to register voters does not mean that we were somehow connected to ACORN." said an Obama spokesperson.
* Republican members of Congress have proposed a new economic bailout. The bailout will cost $23.4 trillion, which will be borrowed from China. The government will use all the money to buy every house in the United States. The government will then sell the houses to Saudi Arabia at a loss and use the profits to eliminate taxes on those making more than $250,000. Speaker Nancy Pelosi said that she would not support the plan unless it also included a $600 tax rebate for people making less than $75,000 a year.
