Today's Headlines 7/26/06
* Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice's trip to the Middle East was abruptly cancelled when the National Security Agency overheard a domestic telephone conversation in which a member of Hezbollah stated that there was a plot to place 500 snakes on her plane in a time-release crate. Instead Secretary Rice will travel to Paris where she will investigate a suspicious murder at the Louvre.
* In what is being referred to as a shocking development in the War between Israel and Hezbollah, Ehud Olmert, the Israeli Prime Minister has unfreinded Sheik Hassan Nasrallah, the Secretary General and leader of Hezbollah from his MySpace profile. Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice stated that this was a sad development in the crisis in the Middle East. Secretary Rice, who remains friended on MySpace with both Prime Minister Olmert and Sheik Nasrallah stated that it was the United States' official policy not to unfriend foreign leaders so that the lines of communications may remain open and that they may read their blogs. Other notable times in history when world leaders unfreinded each other on MySpace include when Adolph Hitler unfreinded Joseph Stalin on August 30, 1939, when George W. Bush unfreinded Saddam Hussein on September 12, 2001, and when Lady Diana Spencer unfreinded Prince Charles and Camila Parker Bowles December 8, 1992.
* Ford Motor Corp. Announced that it was entering into a partnership with Time Warner to provide movies to its employees who are paid not to work. William Clay Ford Jr., CEO of Ford made the announcement. In March of 2006 Ford began paying many of its employees not to work due to the fact that no one is buying Ford vehicles resulting in tremendous overproduction. According to company insiders, employees have lost job satisfaction due to the boredom of sitting around not working. The partnership with Time Warner will provide two movies to the employees each day. The first movie slated is the 1986 Michael Keaton comedy Gung Ho. Ford, which lost $123 million in the second quarter of 2006, had considered numerous plans to pull itself out of the slump. Other rejected plans included drilling holes in the gas tanks of its new vehicles and changing its name to Nakahama Motor Corp.
* Israel was accused today of violating the Geneva Convention with a plan to destroy ten Lebanese cities for every missile Hezbollah has launched at Israel. Israel defended the accusation as untrue. An Israeli spokesman noted that Hezbollah has launched over 100 rockets into Israel and that Lebanon doesn't have 1000 cities that Israel could destroy in retaliation. Meanwhile Saudi Arabia called for a cease fire to allow it time to resupply Hezbollah with rockets.
* President Bush today began a what is to be a one-month push to help republicans in 2006. The president will begin stumping for democratic candidates in tight races. President Bush's first stop will be to stump for Ned Lamont in his primary battle with Senator Joseph Lieberman (D-CT).
* In what is being referred to as a shocking development in the War between Israel and Hezbollah, Ehud Olmert, the Israeli Prime Minister has unfreinded Sheik Hassan Nasrallah, the Secretary General and leader of Hezbollah from his MySpace profile. Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice stated that this was a sad development in the crisis in the Middle East. Secretary Rice, who remains friended on MySpace with both Prime Minister Olmert and Sheik Nasrallah stated that it was the United States' official policy not to unfriend foreign leaders so that the lines of communications may remain open and that they may read their blogs. Other notable times in history when world leaders unfreinded each other on MySpace include when Adolph Hitler unfreinded Joseph Stalin on August 30, 1939, when George W. Bush unfreinded Saddam Hussein on September 12, 2001, and when Lady Diana Spencer unfreinded Prince Charles and Camila Parker Bowles December 8, 1992.
* Ford Motor Corp. Announced that it was entering into a partnership with Time Warner to provide movies to its employees who are paid not to work. William Clay Ford Jr., CEO of Ford made the announcement. In March of 2006 Ford began paying many of its employees not to work due to the fact that no one is buying Ford vehicles resulting in tremendous overproduction. According to company insiders, employees have lost job satisfaction due to the boredom of sitting around not working. The partnership with Time Warner will provide two movies to the employees each day. The first movie slated is the 1986 Michael Keaton comedy Gung Ho. Ford, which lost $123 million in the second quarter of 2006, had considered numerous plans to pull itself out of the slump. Other rejected plans included drilling holes in the gas tanks of its new vehicles and changing its name to Nakahama Motor Corp.
* Israel was accused today of violating the Geneva Convention with a plan to destroy ten Lebanese cities for every missile Hezbollah has launched at Israel. Israel defended the accusation as untrue. An Israeli spokesman noted that Hezbollah has launched over 100 rockets into Israel and that Lebanon doesn't have 1000 cities that Israel could destroy in retaliation. Meanwhile Saudi Arabia called for a cease fire to allow it time to resupply Hezbollah with rockets.
* President Bush today began a what is to be a one-month push to help republicans in 2006. The president will begin stumping for democratic candidates in tight races. President Bush's first stop will be to stump for Ned Lamont in his primary battle with Senator Joseph Lieberman (D-CT).
posted by posttimestribune at 12:07 AM
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