Today's Headlines 7/23/06
* Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice heads to the Middle East today in an attempt to resolve the growing tensions between Israel and Hezbollah. Due to the United States policy of not negotiating with terrorists, Secretary Rice will spend the entire trip sightseeing. Secretary Rice is said to be very excited to visit Qumran Library and the Dead Sea Scrolls. Initially she was scheduled to have tea with Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, but he had to cancel because he is to busy fighting a war in Lebanon with Hezbollah.
* The Democratic Party announced today that it was changing the schedule for its primaries for the 2008 presidential election. The Democratic Party will be moving up the Nevada caucuses, which will now be scheduled between the Iowa caucuses and the New Hampshire primary. The change was ratified by the Rules and Bylaws Committee, and was set to be ratified by the Democratic National Committee next month. "The Democratic Party is viewed as a bunch of New England liberals." said one Democratic spokesman, who went on to say, "This change will have gamblers and hookers deciding the [Democratic presidential] nominee instead of New England hippies and should improve the party's image nationally."
* President Bush vetoed a bill passed to allow federal funding for stem cell research using unused frozen embryos. Bush noted that numerous children have been born through adopted embryos. When told that there were 400,000 embryos and that only 128 embryos that had been adopted, Bush called on Congress to fund adoptions for the other 399,872 embryos. Under the measure, all mothers receiving federal welfare payments or food stamps will be required to adopt and raise an embryo. When the children are sixteen they will be sent to repopulate New Orleans.
* Editorial:
President Bush used the word "shit" this week and everyone is very excited about that. Although the President is supposed to be a religious man, the fact is that Dick "fuck em all" Cheney is the Vice President and meets with President Bush several times a week, if not daily. A few bad words are going to rub off. But what is really interesting is not that the President used the word "shit", but the fact that President Bush actually knows that Syria is supporting Hezbollah. We should all be thankful that he actually knows what's going on in the Middle East this time, unlike in the Iraq War, when he thought that Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein were gay blood brothers.
Speaking of the Iraq War, these editorial pages have on numerous occasions criticized the Bush administration for invading Iraq when there were significantly more serious threats facing this nation. Such threats include the nations of Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, North Korea, Iran and of course the terrorist group al Queda. But now that the War on Terror is approaching its fifth anniversary, it has become clear that the Bush administration chose correctly when it invaded Iraq. Iraq, as we now know (and really knew then too), did not possess weapons of mass destruction, was contained, and did not pose a threat to the United States or to the Middle East. And yet, the Bush administration fought a war against Iraq. Now three years later it is clear that the Bush administration completely fucked it up. If the Bush administration could not prosecute an effective war on a nation that did not pose a threat, what would have happened if we attacked Iran or Saudi Arabia which really threaten us, or Pakistan or North Korea, which have actual nuclear weapons. Yes. That's right, we would now in this country be speaking Persian, or Arabic, or Punjabi, or Korean.
Therefore, we should be thankful that the Bush administration attacked a nation that wasn't threatening us. In fact, if anything, the administration's incompetence demonstrates that even war with Iraq was thinking too big. We should have gone to war with Liechtenstein, Monaco, or Vanuatu, none of which have an actual military. Perhaps then we would have won and would actually feel safer.
* The Democratic Party announced today that it was changing the schedule for its primaries for the 2008 presidential election. The Democratic Party will be moving up the Nevada caucuses, which will now be scheduled between the Iowa caucuses and the New Hampshire primary. The change was ratified by the Rules and Bylaws Committee, and was set to be ratified by the Democratic National Committee next month. "The Democratic Party is viewed as a bunch of New England liberals." said one Democratic spokesman, who went on to say, "This change will have gamblers and hookers deciding the [Democratic presidential] nominee instead of New England hippies and should improve the party's image nationally."
* President Bush vetoed a bill passed to allow federal funding for stem cell research using unused frozen embryos. Bush noted that numerous children have been born through adopted embryos. When told that there were 400,000 embryos and that only 128 embryos that had been adopted, Bush called on Congress to fund adoptions for the other 399,872 embryos. Under the measure, all mothers receiving federal welfare payments or food stamps will be required to adopt and raise an embryo. When the children are sixteen they will be sent to repopulate New Orleans.
* Editorial:
President Bush used the word "shit" this week and everyone is very excited about that. Although the President is supposed to be a religious man, the fact is that Dick "fuck em all" Cheney is the Vice President and meets with President Bush several times a week, if not daily. A few bad words are going to rub off. But what is really interesting is not that the President used the word "shit", but the fact that President Bush actually knows that Syria is supporting Hezbollah. We should all be thankful that he actually knows what's going on in the Middle East this time, unlike in the Iraq War, when he thought that Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein were gay blood brothers.
Speaking of the Iraq War, these editorial pages have on numerous occasions criticized the Bush administration for invading Iraq when there were significantly more serious threats facing this nation. Such threats include the nations of Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, North Korea, Iran and of course the terrorist group al Queda. But now that the War on Terror is approaching its fifth anniversary, it has become clear that the Bush administration chose correctly when it invaded Iraq. Iraq, as we now know (and really knew then too), did not possess weapons of mass destruction, was contained, and did not pose a threat to the United States or to the Middle East. And yet, the Bush administration fought a war against Iraq. Now three years later it is clear that the Bush administration completely fucked it up. If the Bush administration could not prosecute an effective war on a nation that did not pose a threat, what would have happened if we attacked Iran or Saudi Arabia which really threaten us, or Pakistan or North Korea, which have actual nuclear weapons. Yes. That's right, we would now in this country be speaking Persian, or Arabic, or Punjabi, or Korean.
Therefore, we should be thankful that the Bush administration attacked a nation that wasn't threatening us. In fact, if anything, the administration's incompetence demonstrates that even war with Iraq was thinking too big. We should have gone to war with Liechtenstein, Monaco, or Vanuatu, none of which have an actual military. Perhaps then we would have won and would actually feel safer.
posted by posttimestribune at 10:45 AM
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