Today's Headlines Legislative Alert 3/21/05

* Congress voted today to give sweeping new powers to your parents. Your parents may now go to federal court to get an injunction to prevent you from having pre-marital sex, drinking more than they think is right. Parents may also go to court to force you to go to church or synagogue once per week and eat a healthy breakfast. Tom DeLay, House Majority Leader stated, "Your parents know what is best for you. I know that you want to go to attend an out of state college, but your mom knows that it would lead you down a path of estrangement and sin. You would be much happier at a state school living at home. Terri Schindler's mother told her not to go out with Michael Schiavo and now he is trying to murder her. This bill will prevent such tragedies from happening." The bill also permits parents to get a federal injunction preventing you from dating Tommy MacPherson. A democratic amendment to the bill to prevent your parents from making decisions from your life after you are 35 was defeated on a party line vote. James Sensenbrenner, the House Majority Whip pointed out that when your mother came to visit she told you that your curtains didn't match your carpet and you said to her, "Mom I am 42 years old I have my own taste and can choose my own curtains." Sensenbrenner noted that this was wrong of you because all of your taste comes from your parents who raised you and loved you and if your mother thinks that you curtains and carpet don't match they obviously don't. "It is unconscionable that your parents were denied the opportunity to go to court to get an injunction forcing you to get new curtains." The law, titled, the Mother Knows Best Act of 2005, was lobbied heavily b your mother. Your grandmother, will be given the right to get an injunction to force your mother to come visit more often and to call every day; however, your grandmother will not be given the right to go to court to get an injunction ordering your mother to "lay off." The estimated costs of the new federal proceeding is approximately $235 million, which will be taken out of the federal Head Start and WIC programs.