Today's Headlines 3/19/05

* President Bush suffered his first defeat during his presidency when Senate democrats filibustered a Republican measure to destroy the world. Harry Reid the Senate Minority leader stated that the democrats were willing to allow a vote on Bush's policy of bankrupting the country, but were unwilling to allow republicans to destroy the world. "A line must be drawn somewhere and Senate Democrats today drew that line at destroying the world." When asked why the democrats didn't filibuster the measure to bankrupt the country, Ried stated that the democrats didn't want to seem obstructionist. A new advocacy group "Concerned Citizens for Ending Obstructionist Policies and for Saving the World" began a television campaign aimed at discrediting Democrats who participated in the filibuster. After the ads aired, support for the Democrats plummeted to .01%.

* House Republicans passed a measure today that would eliminate Medicaid. The Senate measure, which passed on a party line vote, would only eliminate Medicaid in "Blue" States. President Bush blasted the Senate measure as wasteful in these times of budgetary need. Scott McClellan, the White House Press secretary, stated, "We have eliminated taxes on incomes above $200,000 and now we need to show some fiscal restraint. The House measure does that, but the Senate measure doesn't go far enough." Attorney general Alberto Gonzalez stated that in his opinion that a measure to eliminate Medicare could become law if only passed by the House. The President stated that he would sign the House bill into law.

* Mark McGuire testified today that he had never played professional baseball and that any evidence of his use of performance enhancing illegal steroids was therefore irrelevant.

* President Bush today nominated Kenneth Lay to replace Alan Greenspan as Chairman of the Federal Reserve Board. The nomination of Michael Millikin as Chair of the SEC was also announced.